“When Will My Life Begin?”

“When Will My Life Begin?”

(Title of the main song in “Tangled.” Not Disney’s finest, but pretty cute.)

One of the things I love most about the blogs I read is the encouragement that comes from seeing how other women handle particularly stressful situations, with the utmost grace. So many of the posts I read involve the words,”here’s how WE do it.” From homeschooling, to time management, raising children, and keeping life in order, they have so much to offer.

As I sit here in my Organic Underling office, answering emails and taking phone calls about the photosensitivity of bitter orange oil, caffeine levels in raw cacao, and benefits of using certified organic shampoo instead of the commercial equivalent, I have to admit that I don’t really have any advice for anyone about anything. I don’t say that to show how sad, weary, or tired I am; I just wish I could offer some wisdom to the world.

Most days in my little life are pretty basic:

-I wake up at around 6:15am, and check my Gmail, Twitter, and Facebook from my iPhone

-6:30am: roll over to see that my husband is reading an article about the new Star Wars online, multi-player game, and promptly tell him that I need a cuddle

– Climb out of bed by 7am; get ready for work, including my morning whine as Harli forces me to take a big handful of vitamins because I refuse to eat breakfast

-I’m out the door by 7:25am to start my work day by 7:40

-“Office” hours: answer an endless stream of questions, complaints, and concerns from Representatives, Customers, and Retailers from 45 countries around the world. I use the words “hormonal,” “certified,” and “detox,” multiple times each day.

-Evenings are spent making dinner, straightening the shoebox that is our apartment, watching a little bit of TV, and reading whatever book is close at hand. (I’m working on a few right now, so it changes night to night. Classy.)

I’m in bed by 10pm every night, and usually fall asleep listening to the Bible on an audio app on my iPhone.

I wish I had something to share with the world. But, I don’t really “do” anything, anymore. I’m not in school anymore, I don’t have kids or home projects to talk about, and the “stuff” that I’d love to talk about is less about benefiting others, and more of a lesson in how frustrated I am by my lack of control.

Maybe this is just the season that the Lord has placed me in. I’m sure I’ll look back in five years, when we’re a family of more than two, and think about how peaceful and easy these days were. For now, I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin, waiting on life to just move.


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