Wednesday Night Wondering

Wednesday Night Wondering

Thought for the day: I wish I could trust that God loves me as much as my mom does.

There’s a song by Michael Olson called, “If You Can Stop the World” that is meant to be the Lord speaking to us.

“If you could stop the world from spinning, you could stop my love for you… it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what you try to do, nothing can stop my love for you.”

Except, I just hear my mom’s words. I mean, that’s on the right track; God is our Father, and the ultimate parent, right? But, something still keeps me from diving in with Him like I do with Mom. Her love has been one of the only constants in life, and I’ve never doubted that she’d love me, despite what stupid situation I’ve landed in. I know she’ll always be there with open arms, even when her spirit is weary, and body is so wrecked by arthritis that she can’t make a fist. I miss her so much tonight.

Why can’t I believe that God loves me just as much? I want to, but can’t quite get there. Maybe it’s the, “He is perfect, and truly Good, and I’m sort of a mess” concern, or the fact that I don’t understand why things are a certain way. Perhaps, I’m just teary tonight, and really want my mommy, but can’t have her.

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