That’s how life has been the lately.
Currently, it’s 11am on a Thursday and I’m laying on my neatly made bed, trying to think of how to describe the events of the last few weeks. Rather than spill out some personal rhetoric, and risk upsetting myself and engaging my inner drama queen, I’m going with a list format.
Ahem. (These are in no particular order. Meh)
1. I’ll be applying for the “big” visa very soon. I planned on having it all ready to send in today, but we’re still waiting on some official letters from our employers and friends. When I was applying for my current visa, I was so stressed about stuff that I could barely function. This time around, I’m trying to remain relaxed and confident. It’s in God’s hands, right? Yea? Yea.
2. My 17 year old sister has been expelled from school, and moved in with her boyfriend. My mom is very upset and hurt, but can’t legally do anything to change situation; the age of consent is 16, so what Shana does is her business. I spent about two hours weeping when I found out, convinced that it’s my fault. To be frank, the whole situation is complete bull. I love my little sister, but she’s making a very bad choice. The light in this event is that it’s bringing my mom back to the Lord’s side, and has engaged some parental feeling (or whatever) in my absent father. It’s a matter of prayer, to say the least.
3. Work has taken a very odd turn. When I first came to work for the company, my team was five very busy people. In the four months I’ve been there, two people have moved, and two have quit. This leaves me. The work load hasn’t really changed, and I’m now trying to train a quite stubborn older woman to do what I think is a very simple job on top of the increased job capacity. To be honest, I don’t know how long I can handle the current situation. I really enjoy my work, but have taken today to recharge. Next week, we’ll have one new person join the staff, so I’ll be taking some time away from my usual work to have a day or so of intense training for both the new girl, and the woman I’m currently training.
4. I haven’t been a very good wife lately. I’m almost always irritable, guilt Harli about things that he already feels bad about, and have more than once spit venom in his direction when he’s ticked me off. I don’t want to hurt him, but sometimes I think I blame him for everything that goes wrong: “If I hadn’t met him, I’d be closer to my mom and Shana wouldn’t be stupid and all of my US debt would be paid off and, and, and…” My Father in Heaven has really convicted me of my manipulative, and unholy, attitude, and reminded me of my role as a wife and helper. It’s nice to settle into that knowledge.
5. We’ve found a church! We’ve been regularly over the last two months, and had coffee with the pastor and his wife last week. Not only does it tick all of my “missional/community/theology” boxes, but my sweet husband is very comfortable there. I can’t wait to be back on Sunday 🙂
6. I’m behind on my Bible reading, have found two new “from scratch” desserts that I love making, and feel radically at peace despite all that’s going on. He is still King, and I can’t do anything to earn His love. (That’s a good thing!)