Buenos Dias, me llamo “Panda”

There exists a moment, at least twice a week in fact, in which my darling husband asks me how to say something in Spanish. What he’s after varies from, “how do you say ‘my second cousin smells like cheese,’” to ‘what is the name of this episode of ‘Breaking Bad’ in English?” and I can almost never answer his question. The other day, I translated “Caballo sin nombre” to “House without numbers,” instead of “Horse with no name.” Senora Cermak would be ashamed.

Here I sit at my pretty desk, “working”, and bored out of my gourd. If I were Australian, that sentence would probably have something to do with religion, seeing as “gourd” is how many pronounce “God.” The same people pronounce “gosh” as “goursh,” and don’t find it funny when I tell them they sound like Goofy. On days like today, I occupy my nine hour work day by listening to Stephen Fry read Harry Potter books, and picking out furniture for our impending move in September. No more Shoebox. Hellooooooo duplex! At least that’s the hope. Much as I love being in such close quarters with Harli, I’m a wee bit over this chapter of our life.

By the end of the week, I’ll have sent off the supporting evidence for the latest visa decision. The wait time is supposedly three to eight months, but I’m praying to hear back before then. If the answer is “yes,” then I’ll be a Permanent Resident of Oz. If not, then I have to either apply for a Work Visa, or return to my horrendous credit rating in America, sans my husband. I really miss life where groceries aren’t akin to highway robbery, and Christmas is cold, but my life is now in Australia. I drive on the left side of the road, refer to bell peppers as “capsicum,” think of $300,000 houses as “cheap,” and enjoy more public holidays than you can shake a stick at. For real: Good Friday, Easter Monday, Australia Day, the Queen’s birthday, “Gold Coast Show” day (remind me to tell you about the Show in September), National Labor Day, Queensland Labor Day, Brisbane Show Day, and Boxing Day (December 26th), are all public holidays I get to enjoy. Oh, and if any of those days happens to fall on a Saturday or Sunday, they’re gazetted to the closest weekday. Australia loves a long weekend. As we speak, I’m trying to convince Harli to get his boss to give him Easter Saturday off so we can go visit his sisters in NSW. Nothing screams “He is Risen!” like spending the holiday with atheists, right?

We’re heading to Iowa in August for our annual, oh so exciting, visit with my family. We were going to be there in late April, but decided against it for a myriad of reasons, most of which were financial. By going in August, we’ll be able to easily afford the trip, I’ll have enough annual leave to accomodate the time off, and Harli will have the blessing of spending his birthday at the Iowa State Fair. The man wants to spend at least one birthday in his life enjoying various foods on sticks, apparently.

Plus Size Barbie, Here

Afternoon, all. Hope you’re peachy, and January brought all the good things you were after. Let me tell you, February is going to be ah-mazing! Why? Because it has no choice, that’s why. Ha! I have some pretty high expectations for this oh-so-short month. There are 26 more days until March 1st, and I’m very excited to live every one of the like the gift it is.

Ask me why I’m so excited. Go on. Answer: no clue. I’m just chipper, and so thrilled to walk in faith and love the people the Lord puts in my path. Need to be loved? Waddle on over to my corner of the globe. This is what my former roommate, and intellectual comrade, Ashley calls my “Plus Size Barbie” mentality. Brilliant, brilliant.

Practically speaking, there are plenty of things to accomplish this month, and you know how I love my lists, so here you go.

- Five cardio workouts, including one core-specific session, each week.

- Continue Bible reading plan, days 33-59

- Cook all of our meals at home, save our anniversary dinner on the 20th

-  Finish reading The Borribles. Read Everything Must Change, and Mennonite In A Little Black Dress

- Pay off 1/2 of our largest credit card balance

- Take up my bookstore buddy’s invite to her church on Sunday morning

- Make a Hungry Caterpillar-themed blanket for my nephew, Adam. That boy’s momma loves her some HC, and threw what must have been the most extravagant HC party for Adam’s first birthday. Maybe the blanket is more for her than him? Boy can’t have too many blankets, I reckon. Forts have to be made from something!

I also just started a 30 day weight loss-related devotional,  but finishing it isn’t a goal so much as a pleasure. The last few weeks have seen a pretty big transformation in my view of food, and its purpose. Ever heard a big girl say she’s “in bondage to food?” Now you have. Peanut butter, chocolate, pizza, and soft drinks are like mean, but delicious, puppeteers whose primary joy is sucking mine away. Being healthier, and better able to serve my mission, is what I’m after. I don’t actually know what my mission is, but God is pretty cool with timing so I’m not concerned; I just know that being lethargic and bitter isn’t doing much to move me in His direction. Changing my eating habits and activity level are worship for me, right now.

Now, my lovelies, what are *you* doing in February? Hmmm?

Accomplish me, please!

In the hope of regaining some accountability in my life, I’m going to have another go at posting a set of goals for each week. Rather than try to be an ordinary panda, and offer an update each Monday, I’ll be posting on Wednesdays. I’m a wild, wild woman.

Here’s the week’s “must do” list:

- Five cardio workouts, including one core-specific session. Thanks to my current work arrangement, which allows me to work from home two or three days each week, fitting in some exercise is much easier than it used to be. Hopefully, I’ll be able to keep up the habit once I’m back in an office five days a week. In order to meet my year’s weight loss goal, I need to lose 769g (1.69 lbs) each week.

- Continue Bible reading plan, days 16-23

- Cook all of our meals at home

- Continue reading The Borribles on my twice-weekly train to, and from, the Brisbane office

- Continue reading The Hobbit with Harli

- Pay off 1/6 of our largest credit card balance

- Take up my bookstore buddy’s invite to her church on Sunday morning

We’re only 16 days into the new year, but there’s already been a slight change to one of my 2013 resolutions. My fantastic husband has made the decision to start down a new career path, and will start his first year of training as a counselor in June. We’re in the process of figuring out the best arrangement for this new endeavour, both financially and practically, but the change will definitely impact our previous goals for debt repayment. We’re now aiming to have all of the credit cards paid off, as well as my smallest student loan, and 12% of my second smallest loan, paid off by the end of the year. I’m already a little panicky about slowing our “plan” down so drastically, but I know that this is the right decision for our family, even if it means I might not have kids until I’m 30.

Until next we meet- xx

Goals for 2013 (aka: “I’ll do better this year”)

I know, I know; I’m three days late, and about four dollars short, posting my little list. Shoot me later, love me now.

2012 was a year of laziness across the board. Finances, health, career progression- everything just sort of lulled for 12 months. I’m not really in the mood to repeat that this year, so I’m giving this “goal-setting-task-achieving-progress-making-forward-moving” thing another go. It is my solemn prayer that my resolve can be strengthened, and my efforts blessed.

While I usually speak for Harli and I, this list is mine alone. He’s much more disciplined than me, and therefore doesn’t need to make actual resolutions. Don’t worry, he knows just how special he is.

On with it!

Finances:

- Pay off all of Harli’s credit card debt, my smallest student loan, and at least half of my second smallest student loan. If we stick to the budget, we should have this nailed.

- Visit my family for two weeks in either June or August, and pay for every aspect of the trip without going into debt.

- Move into a bigger place when our lease ends in June. If we have the credit cards paid off by then, there’s no reason we won’t be able to afford to move.

- Save up for a new sofa

Personal Growth:

- Be Jesus-y. Listen to people. Help in practical ways. Hit my knees in prayer. Give away what I can’t lose.

- Complete the “Bible in one year” plan from Bible Gateway.

- Find a church and settle into it. Community is important, people.

- Volunteer time to causes that ignite that holy passion within me. This will more than likely be faith-based, but I’m not convinced that the Lord won’t put me in a large group of non-believers and say something to the tune of, “be my hands and feet, go!”

- Reign in my tongue. This is the first step to not finding my worth in the opinions and adoration of others. Being a people pleaser with odd boundaries is becoming a bit of a burden, kids.

- Complete six sewing projects

- Learn to drive on the left side of the road

- Read 25 books. If successful, next year I’ll break it down with specific titles.

Health:

- Lose 40kg (roughly 88lbs) Yes, this is a huge number, and yes I *do* have that much weight, plus much more, to lose.

- Add cardio exercise to at least five of my days each week. By the end of the year, I’d like to be able to run a mile without stopping. If I’m honest, I’ll admit that I usually count my daily walks between work and whatever public transport I’m catching that day (bus if I’m in the Gold Coast office; train if I’m working out of Brisbane for the week) as “exercise.” It’s not, and won’t be counted as such any longer.

Marriage:

- Spend a weekend “away” for our Australian wedding anniversary in February.

- Start, and finish, three books together: one fiction, one practical, and one spiritual.

Work:

- Continue in my current position for the entire year. I love my job, the industry I’m a part of, and the company I work for.

- Cross-train in other areas of the company, in the interest of career progression and the challenge it presents.

I won’t bother with firm statements of “this year being different,” because I frankly have no clue what the year has in store. But, I know that God is good, and that it isn’t up to me to number my days. Whatever I do, or accomplish, is for His ultimate glory. I’ll keep you posted on the progress. xx

A letter to 2012

Hello 2012,

Yes, here we are. As I sit on the eve of another new year, I have a few words for you. Please sit down; you need to be a good listener right now.

As you came slamming in 365 days ago, I promised that while you “started with a battle,” I was “confident that (you) would see the end of a war.” Contradicting my Pacifist (yes, capital P) beliefs, and desire to live gently in a violent world, you and I both know I wasn’t talking about world events. Still, as the days went by, I DID pray for an end to war, destruction, and the tragedy that plagues this ridiculous world. I begged you to shape the heck up, and you couldn’t listen. Disasters, injustice, and the loss of innocent lives continued. Why couldn’t you just be calm?

At the same time, the war I spoke of raged on. It’s still raging, maybe more now than ever. I’m tired of fighting it, 2012. It makes me physically ill sometimes. Waiting, anticipating, whining, stressing, gossiping, and never addressing the real issues, has left me exhausted. I’m not carrying this into 2013. I have to believe that Jesus didn’t go to the Cross just so I could keep circling the same issues for three years. 2012, I’m tired of crying, and gasping for anxious breath in my sleep. If living by faith means enduring more hurt, or acting in a way that seems “too much,” then that’s what I’ll do. Pease don’t try to remind me of how I failed before, 2012; stay quiet while I try to do better, ok?

In the midst of the upset, you brought so much “new.” A new stepdad, who calls me “daughter,” and loves my mother like she deserves to be loved. Two gorgeous nephews, one on each side of my family, born healthy to parents who cherish them, and do whatever necessary to promise their safety. I found a new job, in an industry I didn’t know existed, but sparks all my passion and allows me to serve others in a practical, intentional way. We even found a new place to live, just a smidge bigger than the last with slightly lower rent. I love you for that.

Maybe each year just magnifies mess ups of the last. This year, I gained weight like it was my job, which certainly wasn’t the case. I gave up on healthy practices that I enjoyed, like blogging, adventurous cooking, thorough budgeting, and reigning in my tongue, in favor of easier roads. I said “we’ll get the budget set next month; today, we’ll buy that (whatever.)” I became friends with the Dominos delivery guy, and spouted off my grief to anyone who would listen. I stopped documenting my life, because I was certain no one would want to hear about it. Never again. Seriously, Lord, never again.

2012, I don’t really know what to say about you. You’re a bit of a bittersweet mess, aren’t you? Maybe you were just what I needed to get my motivation back. Maybe you’ll make me grow up. I refuse to repeat your failures, and thank you for your joys. Now, move along. I hope that “Mayan calendar” gag was fun for you.

All the best,

Alana.

 

Return of the Panda

Relax. It’s all gonna be just fine. Hush your crying. Shhhh…

Here I be. Back in your living room. Invading your laptop like it’s my job. I won’t go so far as to say that you should get used to seeing my particular brand of sorta-crunchy, Anabaptist, soft-hearted sarcasm- because let’s face it, I’m none too reliable these days- but I am hoping to start blogging more often. Maybe I’ll get around to genuinely sharing what life is like in our corner of the world, instead of just listing the high points. Dreams, eh?

The last six months have been incredible, and incredibly difficult. God has blessed us so thoroughly, and hasn’t shied from correcting and challenging me into shaping up, literally and figuratively.

In April we undertook a most underwhelming move, all the way across the hall. Yep, we moved from Unit 17, to Unit 18 in our apartment complex. There were a host of reasons for moving into our “new” place when the lease ended on our old one: the rent is $5/wk cheaper, our bond rolled over without issue, and its semi-furnished status cushioned the cost of buying a fridge, washing machine, bed, mattress, couch, and various kitchen implements that were provided in our previous, fully-furnished abode. Primarily, it was the easiest option, and as we don’t yet need a second bedroom, or radically more space, it seemed the wisest way to go.

We took a trip back to Iowa in May, and had a lovely time. Bittersweet, but good. Next time, I’ll plan a bit better. I hadn’t anticipated not having a car to drive during our 16 day visit, so my plans of seeing folk in other parts of the state quickly dried up. There are friends I’ll most likely never see again as a result of bowing out of promised visits, and that’s a bit hard to take some days. Overall, an amazing time with my dear sister, nephew, momma, and step-dad.

This winter (June-August) went by with minimal upset. To be honest, I can’t quite recall anything worth sharing from those months. Sad, because I’m sure there were moments that should be remembered.

As September comes to a close, there’s a noticeable excitement in the air. Christmas is less than three months away; my apartment balcony garden is sprouting, though I made the mistake of not labeling the pots, so I have no clue what is what; we’re on track to be debt free in a little less than two years; and Harli and I are both exercising more and eating better. (Nothing like a shocker on the scale to make our Friday night pizza a thing of the past. Poor Domino’s delivery guy is probably suffering the loss, too. He knew us by name, you know.)

I’m incredibly excited to see what’s in store for us as a couple, and where God is taking me personally. I’m still fighting a battle with ye olde serotonin, and some days are much murkier than others. It’ll all come good. In other news, I’m not sure when I’ll get used to the swapped seasons, but for now I’d be oh so happy if my body would quit freaking out with each “opposite” seasonal change. Like clockwork, I get mild bronchitis every 12 weeks. Nothing echinacea, essential oils, and a warm shower won’t cure, but oy if I’m not a grumpy thing this week.

This weekend is a long one thanks to the Aussie itch to call a national holiday without reason, so I’ll be spending the next two days stretched out on the sand. Or, I might be reading The Hobbit, watching movies, and Christmas shopping. 50/50, really

That Post When I Quit Thinking About Sounding Smart

Wanna know what my thoughts typically revolve around?  Hint: Not world peace, financial security, my future children, or anything of radical substance.

1. What’s for dinner. Included in this thought: what is on sale at Coles and Woolies (Australia’s duopoly of supermarkets), how much I love steak, and why I love to cook, but often order from Pizza Capers, instead.

2. Why I’m so frequently dissatisfied with the pretty simple admin jobs I keep getting. Perhaps it has to do with not feeling stretched in my abilities, which leads to a supernatural fear of messing up and thereby looking like a moron who isn’t capable of more than data entry. It could be to do with my disdain for being surrounded by gossipy womenfolk, who seem to populate offices no matter which country I live in. Maybe it’s just boring as celery, without the peanut butter, and I have too much time to think.

3. The blisters on the backs of my heels, and the still healing ligament in my right foot. My feet hate me, and I wish they’d shrink a size so I can start buying shoes in Australia. Not sure if we’ll ever reach an impasse on this one.

4. How much I want to go to church, and why I never do. I should stop thinking and start acting on this one, eh?

5. Whatever book I’m enjoying at the moment, and how much I’d rather be reading it than doing whatever else it is I’m doing.

6. The movie adaptation of The Hunger Games. Reading the first book in the series three times sort of backfired when we went to see the movie last night. I may or may not have spent the whole film screaming, “a good 60 pages were just skipped… Katniss WOULDN’T DO THAT!” in my head. (More on this after I’ve seen the movie a second time.  Harli and I see lots of movies twice, so we’ll be hitting “cheap Tuesday” and going again next week.)

7. When my baby sister is going into labor, and I can welcome my first biological nephew into the world. I already have two nephews via my sister-in-law, Joie, but I’d be lying if I said that there isn’t a special excitement to my sister’s pregnancy. Please keep her in your prayers